C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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