My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
