Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
