There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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