I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
