oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
