you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
