I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
