thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
