your thong is hanging out like whoa
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we made out on top of his cat.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
