I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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