I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
