so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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