It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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