There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
