I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
