She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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