Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
