At least make sure they are 18
Why
Where is the hickey?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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