In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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