goodnight i made you a song goodbye
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
