connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
