soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
