Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
