he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
