the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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