Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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