i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
