why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
