Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
