Will you blow on my dice?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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