Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
