Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
