so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
