So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Quick, to the slutcave!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
