I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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