I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
