you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need a beard to bite.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
