i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
