i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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