I wannas sexs uuuuu
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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