Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
