last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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