I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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