tell your sister to shave her snatch
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
