I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
