nut hugger
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
