I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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