Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
