You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
