I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
