I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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