Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize