fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
