the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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