I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
