i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
