Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
