I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
