Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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