I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
