dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
