Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the day after is always just damage control
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
