Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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