talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
