i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
