We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
