??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think a kid would responsible me up
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
