Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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